About Me

Who am I? It sounds like a simple question. But nothing in my life is simple.
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I’m  a mother and a fighter,
a writer,
a survivor,
a step-mom,
a co-parent,
a music teacher, an editor,
a ‘retired’ karate instructor.

Soy media-latina,
a dancer,
a singer,
a voracious reader,
a beach lover,
a doodler,
a divorcee, a second wife.

I’ve been through a lot of trauma and a lot of transitions, and I’m always on the hunt for healing: physical, emotional, and spiritual. And I love to write about all of it!

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At CSW59, United Nations, NYC

I’m also an anti-porn activist.

WHY “CROSSROADS”?

At first I had two blogs: a ‘normal’ mommy blog (public) and a space to write about my healing and recovery work (private). But one day I wondered … why am I hiding this?

Mama Crossroads is where my two worlds collide. Because I want to be real. And in real life, I’m both. I’m a mother AND a fighter.

In short: I hate porn. I have watched it destroy good people. I have witnessed the dark, nightmarish, caustic effects pornography has on addicts and loved ones; those who have been trafficked to create it; and those who have been physically, emotionally, and sexually abused in its wake.

I’m constantly trying to find my niche in all of this. And for the most part, I keep coming back home. That might not be the answer for everyone. Mamas are different. And MAMAS RULE! But this is what works for me.

When I am floundering, this quote anchors me:

“A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy … Take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going–when they leave and return from school–when they leave and return from dates–when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.” ~E. Benson

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Life isn’t always Pinterest-perfect, but we have our moments.

Want to hear my story from the beginning? Start with my Flashbacks. Otherwise, come by my site for weekly, monthly or sporadic posts. This changes depending on … well … life … at any given moment.

Peace,

MamaC

13 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Hello! We have much in common
    abused? Check
    Molested? check
    Divorced (from the first sex addict I married)? Check
    Re-Married (to another sex addict)? Check!
    30 something brunette? Check!

    Nice to meet you, I think I’m going to enjoy your blogs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And I am working on a post too … wondering about why we abused women seem to choose to marry addicts. Is it coincidence? Is it a pattern? You and I can’t be the only ones. That’s what I want to find out. Watch for it. I hope I get a lot of traffic and a lot of feedback, and hopefully learn something I don’t already know from women who have been through the same thing! That’s why opening up like this is so cool.

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  2. I too hope to unravel why women like us exist. We are smart and successful so why are we making these awful choices? I wonder if deep down we do not love ourselves, or we have not accepted the free love God has given us….I do not think it is a coincidence though, just not sure what it is.

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  3. Your blog has cut me to the heart…. thank you for your words. I have been struggling with pornography addiction for over 15 years now. My wife has been threatening to leave me for a long time… the most recent time I could tell she was deadly serious. So I made a vow to stay clean for 30 days, and remind myself why I still love her, and why this addiction has to stop. I made it through! Still a long way to go… but staying clean for the past month has been the best feeling I’ve had in a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Keep up the good work. Cutting away from the addiction and remembering how to feel again is a miraculous feeling. Hang in there, and if you ever falter, remember … just because you get a flat tire doesn’t mean you should throw away the car. 😉

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  4. […] Melody Harrison Bergman is a happily-remarried mama of two crazy little boys and an awesome step-son. She enjoys hanging out with her family, playing and teaching piano, singing, taking long walks in the rain, and advocating for her favorite cause—ending sexual exploitation. Currently, she is an administrator on three related websites on the subject: MamaCrossroads, her personal blog; Hope & Healing, a faith-based blog and private forum for more than 800 wives of porn addicts; and the website for the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation, based in Washington, D.C. […]

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  5. I’ve got kinda the reverse situation. I confessed my pornography problem to my wife in an attempt to overcome it and she left quick as lightning with our two kids. She has since let her own sex problems surface with numerous boyfriends, questionable lifestyle choices, and dressing without leaving anything to the imagination. The kids live mostly with her and often come to me for my parent time confused and worried about how they should act because of how Mommy acts. I am happily remarried and we have a child together and I am cleaner than I’ve been since I was 15 and have been for over three years and it’s great. I have a lot of long bedtime conversations with my kids about modesty in how we dress and behave and what to do and how to treat people that aren’t. We keep it all positive and constructive, never bad-mouthing, never tearing down, just lots of talking about it and exploring the choices they will have and what they’ll do themselves.

    Its a tough one because they get to watch movies and listen to music and dress in ways I don’t want them to (mostly my daughter who is 8) and they are exposed to all sorts of colorful people and places when they are with their mom and I and my new wife just roll with it as best we can and keep really honest dialogue open with my kids all the time they’re with us. Sometimes they’re REALLY bothered by something they watched or saw, and I love that they can tell m about it. My 5 year old son tries to be tough and act like it doesn’t bother him as much and I try my best to let him understand that it’s okay to be scared by a scary movie and he needs to recognize his feelings, not hide them.

    I’ve learned a great deal by this and will keep learning more I’m sure.

    Thanks for your good work! Please keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re right–it’s a lot like mine, but in reverse. Sounds like you have fantastic kids and you are doing a great job. Communication is EVERYTHING! Thanks for sharing your perspective as a recovering addict with a healthy re-marriage. It gives me so much hope to hear about it, and I hope others will come across your comment and find hope as well. Take care, and YOU keep up the good work too!

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  6. […] Melody Harrison Bergman is a happily-remarried mama of two crazy little boys and an awesome step-son. She enjoys hanging out with her family, playing and teaching piano, singing, taking long walks in the rain, and advocating for her favorite cause—ending sexual exploitation. Currently, she is an administrator on three related websites on the subject: MamaCrossroads, her personal blog; Hope & Healing, a faith-based blog and private forum for more than 800 wives of porn addicts; and the website for the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation, based in Washington, D.C. […]

    Like

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