Flashback to October 24, 2012…
I’m missing you guys.
But I’m still here, and I’m still listening. I’ve just been a little — uh — otherwise occupied.
You see, I’m somewhat in heaven. But still grounded. It feels good.
I have a companion. I’m experiencing some sunshine in my soul. It’s been so, so, so long.
Ah, my man. Christian. I adore him. He’s awesome. Things are not perfect, but they are great! He heals my soul. We have lived remarkably parallel lives, and he understands my pain in ways that no one else does. He is unbelievably patient, kind, and nurturing. When we first kissed, I burst into tears and began trembling and weeping. We had waited a long time before we took this step, and I was sure I was ready–even impatient–for it to happen, so even I was caught off guard by the intense panic I felt when our lips finally met for the first time. When I started crying and shaking, I was sure I’d ruined the moment and he would be disappointed. But instead he spoke softly to me, held me close and soothed me, stroking me hair and telling me it was going to be okay. In that moment, he could have stormed off, he could have been frustrated with me, but he didn’t react that way at all. Instead, he turned everything around and made the experience even more meaningful. Instead of being pulled apart, we have become stronger through moments like these. There have been many of them along the way, and I’m sure there will continue to be. It doesn’t seem to matter to him that I’m broken. He is willing to be patient with me and help me heal. He says it is okay, that we will heal and grow together. He has tread the path ahead of me. He understands.
But … to you this is all very sudden! And I owe you some major backstory! And I would LOVE to write it all down, process it, make sense of it all. I have a busy couple of weeks, but I will be back, so stay tuned.
Once upon a time … there was a handsome ninja warrior named Christian … And when he saw his damsel in distress trapped in the top of the tallest tower, he said “Rather than strutting around down here like the knights, why don’t I throw up my rope ladder and climb up to you instead?” (Hey, peeps! I didn’t make this stuff up! We were flirting over text one night and he actually said this to me! Love this man.)
to be continued …
Fun fact: Some of you might remember that on my anonymous blog, I referred to Christian as “Jack.” Actually, that’s his middle name: Christian Jacques Bergman. 🙂