In praise of plain Jane

Dear Jane,

I know who you are.

Sometimes I’ve walked with you. Other times we’ve connected from afar. But I am aware of you. I think of you often. More than you know.

You haven’t written any books, appeared on any talk shows, had your picture in the newspaper, or gotten millions of hits on your blog. But your story is just as tragic as those who have done these things. Maybe more so. You are amazing. You will pull through.

You’re broken, but not useless. Remember that. You are shattered and feel like you’ll never find the pieces, much less put them back together again. But you will. It just takes time.

I know you are tempted to compare your plight with those around you. You might think, “Her situation is so much worse! What do I have to complain about?” or “I have it so much worse. What is she whining about?” Don’t compare. It’s not worth it. Each nightmare is tailor-made.

Sweet Jane. You struggle in silence. Even those who are aware of the skeletons in your closet don’t really know. Only you know what it’s like. Because you have to live it. Survival is the goal. If you can just keep going and keep your kids alive–if that’s all you have to give, it is enough. You work hard. You’re exhausted. It will pay off.

Be patient with yourself. You are human, and you will make mistakes. You don’t have to be perfect. Perfect isn’t real. Take your time and flow with it. Embrace the growing pains.

Throughout your journey, try not to carry anyone’s burden but your own. Your burden is heavy enough. Worry about what you can control. If you can’t control anything, then you have nothing to worry about … except you. Take time to care for yourself. I know it is easier said than done.

Does all of this sound like jibberish? I might not be able to reach you. Maybe no one can. Maybe you are so deep in your pit that you can’t see a ray of light. But just think … When you hit rock-bottom, there’s only one place to go: Up.

You are not alone.




2 thoughts on “In praise of plain Jane

  1. “Don’t compare. It’s not worth it. Each nightmare is tailor-made.”

    What stellar advice and phrasing. This post will hit home with more folks than you’ll ever know.



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